This little player
by PurpleTruffle
Summary: We have stumbled upon the world of Minecraft, and most of us survive the first night. Unfortunately, we have to guide a noob to follow the steps of greatness. Special host: Jeremy Fitzgerald! Guide: Author! Noob:...you
1. Chapter 1

**Lolololololol.**

 **Here I am again, with another story full of bad puns. I will not be able to post any more stories until 14th March, so this is a cutoff.**

 **So THIS story is about Minecraft, a limitless world where you could build anything. Unfortunately, our player can do nothing else but stay in her cramped shelter. Until...**

It was dark. Too dark. _**[Yes, I've used this line before.]**_ I was stuck in my cramped shelter of dirt, with the zombies outside ripping the door off its hinges. Within a minute the door will be coming down, and the zombies will...do whatever the fak zombies do to people. Hey, they were mean! Just when I finished swearing 837 times in my head, the weak door finally crashed down. Well, I should at least try to defend myself.

I punched one in the stomach, but it didn't do anything. Three other zom-faggots entered my shi- I mean dirt house. I hit another with a stick, and it fell back, making a perfect escape route. I dodged the zombies' hands as I sped off into the forest. I ran. And ran. And ran some more. Yeah, running is getting boring. I finally stopped at a random tree to catch my breath. Then it hit me. No, not a _tree branch_ you idiot. It hit me that this was _Minecraft,_ and tree braches don't fall in Minecraft.

"Why was I thinking of tree branches in the first place?" I said.

 _ **I dunno.**_

"You're turning this story to crap, Author."

 _ **Yeah, I know.**_

"Can we continue the story now?"

 _ **Yeah okay.**_

 _Now_ the tree branch hit my head.

"Ow!" I cried. Dangit Author! That sneaky little bitch has been using bold italics in _every_ story.

 **Jeremy: I agree.**

 _ **Shut up, you guys. I'm trying to make this story funny by making you two suffer.**_

"Thanks a lot,"

 **Jeremy: What a dick.**

I rubbed my sore head, while pointing a rude finger to the Author.

 _ **Why you-**_

Just then, a skeleton appeared where I pointed my finger. I cursed as the bony bitch shot me twice, until I threw a rock at the faggot. The skeleton didn't seem to feel anything, he just kept on shooting. _This_ couldn't go on forever. And it was all the Author's fault.

"Dude, halp meh!" I said,

 **Jeremy: She won't help you, she made me piss my pants in my last chapter**

 _ **come on, it was satisfying.**_

 **Jeremy:I should've pissed on your head**

"OW!" I cried, as the skelly shot me straight in the head.

"AUTHOR! YOU BETTER SAVE ME NOW YOU LITTLE BITCH!"

 _ **Fine, I will.**_

Just then, rays of sunlight shone through the leaves of the tree, burning the bitchy skelly. I yelled in truimph when I saw him burn.

"Yes! Take that you...weirdo!"

 _ **Step aside, let me make the puns.**_

Just then, a wolf snatched the bones to the skeleton I was about to pick up.

 **Jeremy: *MLG Rekt sounds***

Cursing Jeremy, I chased the muddy motherfuker. It wove through the many trees while I had to jump over logs and go around rocks. I didn't even know why I was chasing the dog. Probably the Author's fault. The mutt went through a hollow log and i slid through it. What I saw at the end-

"Thank you, Author," I muttered, gazing at the village basking in the warm sunlight.

 **Well, first chapter written! Fav this story if you feel like it, and I might sneak in a bonus chapter during my exams..**

 **Thanks for reading! 3**


	2. Chapter 2- went to the village

***sleeps peacefully***

 ***finally gets up***

 **-yawn- good morni- WAIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!**

 **Reader: Well, we were waiting for a new chapter for your Minecraft story.**

 **Woah woah I can't type stories THAT fast.**

 **Reader: *takes out chainsaw***

 **AHH! OKAY I'LL WRITE THIS CHAPTER DON'T KILL ME PLEASE!**

 **Jeremy:Lol**

 _ **Chapter two**_

I joyfully ran to the wooden buildings, not noticing that the same wolf was running behind me.

"WOOHOOOOOO" I shouted.

 **Jeremy: Bro, there's a doggie behind you**

I turned around.

"Oh, yeah," I said.

 _ **Maybe it's still after those bones.**_

Oh, the bones.

"Well, here you go," I said, throwing the dog his bones. The dog impressively caught it in mid-air and started panting hysterically.

"Okay, run along now," I said to the dog, turning around again, I walked in the direction of the village. I turned around again. The dog was still there, following me.

"DOOD," I said.

 **Jeremy: Wait, did that dog always have that collar?**

Jeremy was right. A red collar appeared around its neck and now it won't stop following me.

 _ **You've tamed your first dog. Not bad for a noob.**_

"What, tamed it?" I asked, just like a natural noob.

 _ **Duuhhh. Now it will follow you, live with you, and fight for you.**_

 _"AWESOMEEEE"_ me and Jeremy said together.

 **Jeremy: I get to name it!**

 _ **Fuck off, Jeremy.**_

 **Jeremy: WHY ME**

 _ **Name it Sparkle Fluff!**_

 **Jeremy: No, KILLER!**

"Both of you, shut up!" I said. There was silence.

"I will name him Timmy, Tim for short

 _ **WAUT, TIM?!**_

 **Jeremy: IMPOSSIBRU!**

 _ **THAT'S IT, JEREMY!**_

 _Jeremy_Fitz_Sweg was kicked from the game_

 _Jeremy_Fitz_Sweg is temorarily white listed._

 _PurpleTruffle moved Jeremy_Fitz_Sweg to the Box of Shame_

 **Jeremy: OH GOD WHY ME**

 _Jeremy_Fitz_Sweg is now muted_

"Come on, Tim," I said. The dog followed me to the village. As we walked on the gravel pathway, we spotted groups of long-nosed citizens trading.

"Hello, would you like my special deal?" one said, walking towards me.

"Sure, what is it?" I said.

"One diamond for ten dirt!" The villager said happily, as if this was the fairest trade ever.

"Err, no thanks," I said. Me and Timmy walked along the path, ignoring deals like-

'One emerald for a poppy!'

'One red dye for bone meal!'

'FIve bread for an emerald!'

Wait. Five bread for an emerald? That doesn't sound too bad. maybe I could snag some wheat from those crops over there. But first I need a house. Well, this was a village, I could just crash at anybody's place. I walked up to one and dumped my stuff on the floor.

"Well, Timmy, this is our new home." I said to Timmy, petting him.

"What do you mean, your new home?!" A voice said. I turned around to see a figure holding a sword.

"GAHH! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME I SWEAR!" I shouted. The player moved closer. He was definitely taller than me, had yellow hair and a blue hoodie with jeans and headphones. Only then I realized this house was not villager-style. It had acacia wooden walls, yellow carpet and a jungle door.

"Sorry, I thought this was a villager's house," I said honestly. The player put his sword back.

"Well, if you didn't know, stealing- _houses especially_ is not allowed here," He said. "I strongly suggest you run home and sleep, it's getting dark."

"But please, it's my second night and I don't have a house!" I pleaded.

"Sorry, but I definitely have no space for you, go home." He said coldly.

I packed up my stuff that was scattered all over his floor, and gestured at Timmy. We were about to leave.

"You know, if you're _that_ desperate, my friend's house is next door. She's always willing to help people." he said. I nodded and headed out in the night. It was not long before a zombie grabbed me, but Timmy instantly killed him. That attracted more zombies-

Until I felt something grab me and Timmy and pulled us through the door.


	3. Chapter 3- made a home

***Types on laptop***

 ***notices you looking***

 **Oh. Yeah, you might be wondering why I'm posting two chapters of my Minecraft fanfic today. Mainly because of my sister. I showed her my fanfic and she went nuts and forced me to write this chapter. How could she?! Me?! Little ol' me?!**

 **Reader: *takes out chainsaw again***

 **CHILL BRO!**

 **Reader: DON'T KEEP ME WAITING GET STARTED ALREADY!**

 _ **Chapter 3**_

I gasped in pain as my head met the hard oak floor. I heard the sound of a door slamming and then a voice.

"A-Are you okay?"

From hearing this I was sure that _this_ was the friend the other player was talking about. Slowly, she helped me up.

"Yeah, I'm fine.." I replied.

"Sorry for pulling you in like that-" She started, but the sound of banging interupted her sentence. She sighed as she pushed a button, and the lights flickered on. I could properly see her. She was shorter than me by an inch, wearing a very comfortable looking hoodie with a skirt and knee high socks.

I wondered why every player I met so far likes hoodies. She pushed some more buttons revealing a kitchen, a hallway, a living room, and bedrooms. She picked Timmy up.

"Can I feed him?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure. you don't need my permission," I replied. I saw her carrying Timmy to the kitchen, then returning with bread for me and chicken for Timmy.

"Here," she said, passing me a warm loaf. I took it and hungrily ate it up. At the corner of my eye I saw poor Timmy eat his chicken slowly, his scars showing.

I feel kinda bad for making him take out the zombie by himself.

"So, how did you end up here?" the girl asked.

"Well, I spawned, built a shelter, zombies came, skellies came, sun burned 'em, Timmy came, tamed Timmy, saw village, went to you friend's house, got kicked out." I said simply. I took another piece of bread.

"My name is Rachel, my friends call me Rainbow, but you can call me Rain." she said.

Well, that is a weird thing, being named after a type of weather.

"Uhh, my name is Steve." I said. "Err, thanks for letting me in,"

"No problem!" she said happily. By now the zombies had stopped banging on the door, and proceeded to scare the villagers.

She sighed.

"Everyday those zombies transform the villagers, and I have to turn them back," she said.

I nodded, not understanding anything about this transformation.

For a while we watched Timmy slowly drift of to sleep.

"You must be tired. Why don't you sleep too?" She offered. "The guest room is on the right,"

She pointed at the hallway.

I nodded. I walked in the direction and found the bedroom. I just fell into the bed and in a few minutes I felt Timmy on top of me. We both went to sleep...

THE NEXT DAY

I woke up, and I couldn't feel Timmy's weight on me anymore. He must've gone out. I looked out of a window and saw it was very early, and I could just hear the sound of zombies burning. I should get to building my own house now.

"Timmy~?" I whispered. Timmy ran to me and jumped on me, licking my whole face.

"Gah! Timmy stop!" I whisper-shouted. Timmy stopped.

"Look, Timmy. Today we have to gather materials for my own house so we don't have to worry the nice lady, okay?" I whispered.

We both tiptoed outside and stood next to a tall oak tree. I started to punch the tree repeatedly, until I got rid of the whole thing.

"Dang, this is boorriing" I said tiredly.

Finally, after hours I got a stack of oak and spruce wood. I started to build the frame of my house, then the walls, then the roof. And of course, the floor. I made a scruffy bed of some wool I collected from a random villager. I was about to make a crafting table when i noticed Rachel-er, Rain was behind me

"Here, I painted these, and I think they would look good in your house." she said. She passed me three paintings and went back to her house.

Aah, I'm done. I looked at my now finished house and started to hang up the paintings. There was one of Timmy, one of a tree, and one of a biome. I couldn't tell which biome was made up of colourful clay. Looked like a canyon. Well, it was getting late anyway. Timmy rested himself on the carpet as I dropped into my bed and fell asleep.


End file.
